Thank you Deanna for your kind words. I can remember in great detail the very pure hope I felt for the first time when I was led to this website and am greatful to Mel for reaching out and reminding me.
I was honestly afraid to start reading the forum for fear of coming across horror stories, and was pleasantly surprised at the strength, peace and encouragement I found instead.
There's certainly something special about the people here, that's for sure!
We are nowhere near as bad as we were as far as symptoms go but still have a ways to go. It's hard to know whether or not we are truly making progress being that we can't afford the complete protocol. I don't feel like we are regressing, but really would like to get to where I know we are progressing, as the anxiety of this and how it's affecting my kids and myself is enough for me.
I also need my energy levels to get back to normal to keep up with them all!
I am just thankful for each day and have been completely filled with peace from God my Father, and from the hope I have found in you all!
Hi Jen and welcome back!
From reading through your thread I see that I don't need to tell you about all the benefits of being a part of this community... as you are well aware of them!! :) I also see that you are a TRUE warrior and I commend you for staying in the fight to the BEST of your ability at all times!!!
So I will just tell you that I am happy you are back and simply remind you that you will feel soooo much better being connected to others who understand!!! Additionally, we will feel better hearing and sharing in your journey with you!!!
We MOST DEFINITELY have a common bond that cannot and will not be found elsewhere!!!
Again welcome back, God Bless you and your littles!!! I'll be praying for the He Cures All Foundation to be able to support you VERY soon!!!!
Love, Peace and MANY Prayers,
I hope everyone here is having a good day, today is one of my better days and for that I am thankful.
I haven't been here for quite some time but have recently gotten in touch with Mel and he and I discussed how important it is for someone like myself to stay involved in the community here, especially as a stay at home mom.
The days can feel so isolating sometimes. God recently blessed us with our final bundle of joy, which makes 5 for us.
We haven't been able to afford the protocol, and have been on a modified one, mainly just high quality vitamins for myself and the kiddos, silver and mms. I know Mel advises against this but it's the best I can do for now.
We have been added to the waiting list for the He Cures All Foundation and just praying for God's guidance through all of this.
The hardest part for me has been the emotional / brain fog symptoms. Just looking to get back on track now that life is not as hectic, get some advice and stay connected.
I also shared with Mel that when I am well I hope to be able to give back by helping or donating, he told me that for now the best way to give back is to keep posting and become involved so here I am!
Blessings to all!
I got to read your post for the first time today. Tomorrow I start my third week on the portocol. I'm a newbie.
Thank you for your posts. You're an amazing woman and a great mom. I want you to know You're very courageous and brave!! Your love for you children comes across like a beautiful painting. I'm happy to hear you're back in the fight! We're in it together. Now I know about you I can pray for you and your little ones too.
I'll definitely check on your posts and see how you're doing.
It has been quite some time since I posted but I wanted to give you all an update now that the insanity has settled a bit.
We moved to Florida in October and everything has been such a whirlwind.
The children and I) haven't been on anything this whole time because of the sheer fact that we just couldn't afford it.
Hubby finally found a promising job and as soon as we had just enough to spare, I bought some mms and some children's chewable vitamins. That's the best we can do for now.
We are trying to eat as healthy as possible again but weren't able to for a while. Since resuming the mms my brain fog got really bad again which is driving me crazy.
It's already a full time job taking care of 4 children, doing it with this condition has proven quite difficult. Praying we are able to get back on the full protocol again soon. My 6 year old seems to have moments where she is also battling brain fog/digestive issues/sinus issues, but I will take that over lesions any day.
Though they seems to be improving since we started back on mms.
My little boy just turned 1 today, and for those who have asked about nursing I have nursed him all along.
Both while on the protocol and not, and I will say he seemed to begin getting mild symptoms when I stopped the protocol, before then he was fine.
Now that I've started the mms again it seems to be clearing.
In my opinion, there really is no way to prevent them from getting it except nursing them while on the protocol. That is what my experience has been at least.
I have been praying for you all and hope you are doing well.
Hope to drop in more often now that I've started fighting again! Even though I've been set back I'm trying not to get discouraged.
Thank you for this uplifting post. I really appreciated reading this today and I will keep you in my prayers tonight!
Happy new year to everyone!
I just want to remind everyone who is still dealing with this horrific disease,and like me- must hang on to HOPE! Temptation is not Satan's strongest weapon. Despair is.
My 19 year old son committed suicide 4 years ago at college. I am still dealing with grief from that and then got M 2 years later. It feels like more than I can bear some days.
But God promises to never leave us or forsake us. Please stay strong everyone and pray daily for your fellow warriors.
With God's help we will overcome this and be better people just like all of the others here who have been victorious here.
May God bless each and every one of you and fill you with great HOPE.!
Thank you for your kind words and advice regarding the intestinal herx. I think you may be right, as I did notice feeling much better after that little "episode." I also wanted to truly thank you for all of your posts, your thread was one of my absolute favorites to read in the forum, especially when things got rough. You have such an uplifting and encouraging spirit and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Oh and I also wanted to share...my sweet little man made 6 months yesterday so I HAD to let him try some of my avocado at lunch and he LOVED it! He giggled the whole time. It truly is the little things ? Blessings to all.
I am here to specifically ask for prayers. We are not at all able to pay for the protocol this month and I at least need to know we are being covered in prayer as my anxiety had sort of gone through the roof knowing I won't have my supplements, especially the mms. I'm terrified because I was finally starting to feel "normal" and caring for my children prior to that was such a challenge, along with seeing them not feeling well. I've been struggling to find enough but have now accepted that it just isn't going to happen. I feel like I should go and get a job myself, but where we live paying for childcare for 4 children would most likely require my whole paycheck or more anyway - plus I don't know whether my children are contagious or not. I know I need to be with them but I also need to be well to do so. Please please please pray for us (yes I am begging for those prayers). I know God will provide for all of our needs and am really giving this to him and trusting him to get us through until next month. I hope you all are doing well, I continue to keep you all in my prayers!!!
I am very excited for you and the progress you are experiencing. Whenever I read where children are becoming well again I have to fight back the tears. This is probably because I was a special education teacher before I entered social work.
A quick thought for you. Since you are at 20 drops MMS, there is a chance that your recent stomach issues may have been related to the major intestinal herx that eventually occurs with a high dose. Just something for you to consider and maybe discuss with Mel.
Congratulations, you are well on your way to remission.
Thank you so much for praying for me Shari, I think of and pray for you often! Love to read about the progress you're making and the yummy recipes you've been trying out. I can see you growing leaps and bounds and you're healing. Amazing how this journey does that to us huh!? You are a wonderful woman and I am so honored to be fighting this fight alongside some amazing people!
I wanted to swing through to give you all an update. I'll start with the kiddos, they are doing so much better and back to being THEMSELVES again. I can't tell you how many times during the day I just stare at them and thank GOD for their health and that the worst (as far as herxing goes) seems to be over for them. They are vibrant again, there are no dark circles under my one year old angel's beautiful brown eyes. My 2 year old can finally fall asleep at night without a fight because her body wouldn't shut off even though she was sooo tired. My 5 year old no longer complains of stomach pains and her chronic sinus stuffiness seems to be clearin. I cannot even remotely express the gratitude I feel for this site and for the protocol and all of you amazing people.
I am also feeling better, still having good days and bad days - though it seems that the good days are becoming more frequent and I know it will only continue to improve. I feel like my good days are gifts from God and little glimpses of hope amidst the darkness that has been consuming much of my life. When I feel good I feel SO good and just can't wait to feel like that every day. It helps me to remember that each day truly is a gift and to appreciate and enjoy it more deeply. There's no taking a good day for granted for me ever again! I don't think I ever mentioned that my maintenance dose of MMS is 20 drops. I've had to start taking it in veggie caps because I developed such an aversion to the taste that I found myself "accidentally" falling asleep before taking it at night which led to another small return of symptoms. Once I remembered hearing that I could take it in veggie caps I got excited about taking it again :-) As of right now my symptoms are some small scratches here and there, itching/small stings here and there, a few small lesions/scabs left on my scalp, intermittent brain fog, anxiety/depression here and there and occasional purging of micro fibers. I rarely have time to take MMS baths, but I did this Sunday and didn't have much of anything come out. It sure was relaxing though! Last week I had a 24 hour stomach virus/flu - I was miserable, but luckily it only lasted one day and I didn't ever throw up and my kids didn't get it either, woohoo! I keep getting complimented on how good I look, I just smile and say "thank you." When they want to know how I just tell them I changed up my diet and when I tell them what I gave up they look at me like I'm crazy, oh if they only knew...I learned long ago to stop worrying about what others think even though my Mother taught me very differently. My sweet little boy will be 4 months in 4 days! Time flies...he is SUCH a happy baby and my perfect ray of sunshine during this storm. He smiles and laughs all day. I feel as though he must be getting the benefits of the protocol from me and try not to worry about him, so far he has no symptoms. Please pray for me when it comes to my husband. He just can't seem to accept this as something real - he thinks it's all just nonsense and it sparked an argument between us last week. It was short lived as I did not have the desire nor the energy to participate in an argument but he was pretty upset and I know he just doesn't understand it becase he doesn't want to. I think the whole idea of it just scares him so he just feels the need to deny it. Well I figure that's a long enough update for now. My go to scripture lately has been: Phillipians 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." It helps to keep me on track with staying positive and not giving in to the negativity. God bless each and every one of you ? Love Jen and the littles
Thinking of you and the kiddos, how you are doing post slip up?!
I hope you are well! You are in my prayers tonight.
I may not know your full name, but He knows who you are! :)
Had a bit of a rough week, but it's all my fault. I've been so good about keeping up with the diet and protocol, until this weekend. We went to a baby shower and I gave in and had some sweets. NOT a good idea, don't do it! But once again, I was able to find my solace here and get myself back on track. Trying to find time to read the word and pray more often, as I feel it helps my anxiety tremendously. I was able to sneak away for an afternoon run today, and it felt so good. I've had the sudden urge to get out and just run, kind of like Forrest Gump - perhaps it comes from wishing I could run away from this situation. But I can't and I won't, I know I have to face it and fight...for my littles and for myself. Just feeling a little overahelmed, mainly because the fatigue/brain fog is really hitting me hard this week and trying to keep up with 4 kiddos is HARD when all you want to do is sleep. Just hoping it passes soon. There are so many things I want to do, but there are never enough hours or energy in my days. Perhaps God is trying to tell me I need to slow down. I'mThank you so much for your responses and encouragement, Shari thank you sooo much for your prayers and for thinking of me on Mother's Day. I think you're a Monster too and loved reading how you're getting excited about the diet and trying new things! I'm also having a hard time keeping up with the cleaning. I do the best I can, but when I run out of time or energy it often makes me feel anxious. Anywho, I need to get some shut eye and my thoughts are all over the place so I'm going to call it a night. Praying for you all!! XoXo
Hi Jen! Thinking about you this Mother's day and keeping you in prayer! Happy Mothers Day! You are a monster of a mom in my book. 4 littles under 5 and mommy with M! What?! Hang in there Jen!! Give the troubles to God. Jesus said come to me you weak and weary and I WILL GIVE YOU REST.
Btw, Monster today I am equating with amazing, big time, awesome, giant, etc. in slang speak. ie. "I am having a monster time." OR "that dude is as big as a monster - look at his muscles." OR "check out this monster experience.." OR "this is a monster remix"
I don't know I am hoping it will catch on..LOL
I am hoping that all is well with you and just checking in on you.
As you can see, Jen, there are many here who you can lean on when you need to. Always remember, here you are never alone. I hope you will dedicate completely to this protocol because I know that it is helping so many people to get well. I am one of them. I also hope you will continue to share as you take this journey back to health. It is my sincere hope that God lead you and bless you along the way.
Strength and Love,
Nice to see you again. I just wanted to say I LOVE how you call them "the littles". Hee hee That made my day and made me smile. Thank you so much!
I too had increased symptoms eating the Beanitos (only the back bean ones - the other flavors are not even an option). I was sooo pissed off that I have had to cut them out and still cannot seem to tolerate any brown rice or brown rice products in amounts larger than 1 tbsp. But it is what it is. It IS TEMPORARY. Nicole is right, early on it is sooo important to try to begin to listen to your body in subtle ways. Oooh, tell me more of this Coconut Curry? :)
I can see your inner warrior and I can only imagine how extremely hard it must be for you. I am praying for you and "the littles"! I have compassion. God is the Almighty Healer...and he is their Healer.
Often times we lose translations of things ever since the Tower of Babel, but He has many names (which speak of his characteristics for us to assure in who He is; we who believe).
The name of God is Jehovah - The name of God is Yahweh
The name of God is Elohim - My Creator
The name of God is Abba - "Dear Father"
He is called:
Jehovah Ezer - The LORD our Helper
Jehovah Jireh - The LORD Will Provide
Jehovah Rapha - The LORD our Healer
Call on Him! He does hear you! He hears the prayers of the righteous, Jen.
I just want to advice caution when eating higher carb foods , for me and many other fruits,Benito's chips, or any beans, quinoa, grains even high quality grains which are high in carbs , break down into sugar, and for me and many others these can really bring on symptoms- with candida growth. Although my 9 yr old son can tolerate berries, grapefruit, and quinoa much better than I , thank The Lord!! .. For some reason over the years I've notice these things induce purging in my case. When introducing things back into the diet, have only small amounts and wait because reactions can be delayed even a day or two.. If you notice increase itching more afterwards in my opinion that is a reaction to your food and this should be avoided for now .. The way I see it is mine has a very strong fungal component that is eliminated through the skin, and the carbs- sugars just do me In . I know Twiggy was able to reintroduce some fruits after a yr of grain free low carb diet, but for me even after yrs of doing really well and decreased symptoms things like carbs trigger a purge, so I just suggest caution because for me, my low carb diet along with protocol works best for me, my body insists on low carb foods to eliminate crawling, biting. I have come to realize morgellons reacts differntly with differnt people and diet, and it really is a very personal thing.. You have to listen to your body, and if you notice increased itching after eating fruit it might not be a good time to add them in. If you have fungal issues, so just be careful and pay attention to bodies reaction. I am able to maintain a good weight, unworried about fat content, low carb foods- such as avacados, greens, peppers, veggies, nuts, even whole milk yogurt unsweetened ..sweetened with stevia,eggs, almond pancakes, almond
milk, chicken pesto .. I love you're guacamole recipe - I personally make this and just eat it plain, and it's just as delish!! Just speaking from experience what works in me, we are individuals and diet is differnt from person to person .. .. The fact that your itching increased after eating the fruits seems a sign it's not a good thing right now.. I know my diet isn't easy, but for me it has gotten me to a place of comfort inside my body. Although I notice environmental and chemical triggers too... This is why I began using natural products including cleaning sprays like seventh generation, or free and clear detergents .. These all seem to make a difference;-)
My prayers - I know this Isn't easy! god is good and when you know and trust you are healed .. The body listens to that alignment with spirit .. Dis- ease causes disease - EASE your way back into health, rest is good! Protocol is good! And a good diet. It sounds like your doing a lot of great things for you and your family, making adjustments .. And getting on track .. God bless you, and your family. There is nothing against you the whole universe is for you when you have faith, focus on the good ;-)
I also wanted to add this last night but forgot. I try to get us out of the house and into nature as much as possible. Really taking advantage of the healing properties of the beautiful sun (vitamin D) and fresh air - on the weekend our new go-to activity is hiking. The littles love it and so do I. I've always been an outdoors person and feel rejuvenated once I've been outside. Also, a favorite lunch of mine is fresh guacamole after reading what Peter posted about avocados and healing our gut. It's easy to make and sooo good. I use 1 avocado, 1 small tomato, 1/4 to 1/2 an onion, 1 clove minced garlic, pinch pink Himalayan salt, and juice from one lime. I eat it with chips called Beanitos, which I read about on one of the threads here- they're like tortilla chips but made with black beans. You can also toss it with some quinoa. Okay now that my mouth is watering I'll leave it at that for now ;-)
Thank you so much for your lovely responses and prayer. It really is refreshing to have a place to come and feel safe and inspired by some true rockstars. I have had a marvelous week, after a discouraging one - knowledge is power and if I didn't have this site I wouldn't think I was winning, BUT I do have it and am sooo thankful for each and every post ever made. Because of the information on this site I KNOW I'm whooping these Morgys (thanks for the fun nickname!) My 3 angels seem to be doing much better too. I can recognize when they are going through a purge, and it seems like they are getting more and more mild each time. One big change I've made this week is to REALLY put God first and search him. I know I'm enduring this for a reason and I've fully surrendered myself to him. I can honestly say I've never felt more amazing than when I let go and let God. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten and want to share here is the 3 best forms of defense against attacks from the enemy: scripture (read it, memorize it, repeat it) / prayer (pray without ceasing), worship (alternate this with praying all day, sing songs of praise even when you don't feel like it). In addition, if you rebuke the enemy he MUST flee from you. I had a rough week last week, started doing this consistently this week and I feel like a million bucks. Doing all I can to keep up with the kiddos, cleaning and trying to get enough rest. Wish I could share more but need to get some sleep. The intense fatigue and depression has lifted. I did reintroduce some fruits in my diet, noticed a slight increase in itching, but not bad considering where I've come from! I've been having fun cooking healthy meals as well, it's hit or miss with the kiddos though, coconut curry was a hit tonight. Blessings to you all!
My jaw was open after reading your story. Four children that are all five and under!?!?
Im so happy you decided to post. Its a great gift to the community. If you can do this, then it means everyone who wants to do this can get better. You are overcoming some big challenges... Not even the word inspired does justice to the emotion i feel thinking about your story.
And Jenn, you were not only put on this earth to do grear things, you are right now. This very moment. I know you just put some extra oomph in my steps after reading this, i cant imagine how many people you have just helped. Please keep posting!
And keep kick them Morgys'butts! You rock!
Hi Jen! Welcome I'm so glad you found Mel, and the site!! So happy to hear you are taking steps in the right direction for you and your children!! Glad you posted!!! There are other moms/ warriors here to who might be able to help you, give advice, & support .. There is a lot of helpful advice in the children and morgellons thread to! God brought you to the site!! Stay strong momma!!!
You and your babies are in my prayers !!!
Thank you so much for posting. As a fellow warrior who today is having a "why me" feeling, it was a great gift and comforting reminder to read your post.
You are having a tough time of it I can imagine not only physically, but emotionally! Wanting only the best for your kiddos!
When you feel exhausted it is best to just rest; as useless as you may feel when doing so.. rest is best.
Also, I don't know if it is feasible for you, but if you can, I would encourage to not only reach out to us but also any sympathetic friends who may be able to help with other things you need to do that do not include the physical touching of them.
Such as food shopping, going for cleaning supplies, taking the kids out for park or other mommy errands. Send them and stay home and rest with the kiddos.
Praying foo you and the babies,
I've been wanting to post here for quite some time but haven't had the chance or been in the right mind to do so, but I have been reading when I can. Finishing up my 2nd month on the protocol and I definitely see the progress, though I know I have a long way to go from what I've been reading. Right now I'm going through the phase of serious brain fog (I feel like I'm completely out of it most of the time) also purging of micro fibers, some scratches and small lesions here and there and anxiety/depression. When I first contacted Mel I was 8 months pregnant with my 4th child (first son) and terrified. My husband and I were trying to save money for a move and decided we'd live with his grandparents for a few months, I believe that's where I started to get bit by something. My symptoms then were horrible lesions (at least 30 on each arm and same one my legs, trunk and scalp) and itching/crawling. I went through the whole trip to the doctor, antibiotics, premetherin,and a biopsy only to be told I had a pregnancy rash/eczema! Then I noticed the black specs and through more research discovered the horror stories all over the internet. I was absolutely terrified and lost it a few times and then God led me here. What's funny is I had no doubts and knew this is where I needed to be from the very beginning. I contacted Mel and he calmed me down and told me exactly what I needed to do. I got myself started as soon as I could scrounge up the money to do so. Unfortunately my 3 beautiful angels also began presenting with symptoms (5 yr old, 2 yr old and 1 yr old). This hit me even harder because they are so young. Thankfully I caught theirs pretty early and started them on a partial protocol right away so they never got as bad as me. I'm also a wellness advocate for an essential oil company so I had been using oils on them and myself. I want to try and post here as often as I feel well enough to do so. It's not easy fighting this disease, not to mention fighting it with 4 children that are all 5 and under plus breastfeeding an infant. Most days I just feel exhausted. That's why I felt the need to stay up late and post here tonight, when I have a particularly hard day (like today) I am able to find peace and strength through this website and I wanted to thank all of you fellow "warriors" for providing me with the strength I need to keep fighting the good fight. I know God is refining me and I have to keep reminding myself when I have those "why me" feelings. I only hope I can give back by providing hope for someone else through my experiences. I've always felt that I was put on this earth to do great things but I suppose I must first endure great training. Please know that I am praying for you all and ask you to please do the same for me and my babies.