I just want you to know that I pray everyday for you. You have a tough road ahead of you, but you are amazing with your strength and ingenuity to survive. Through God's grace he is taking care of you.
Please let us know updates of how you are doing. I promise I will continue to pray for you everyday and lift you up to our Lord and savior.
Love in Christ,
Hi Mel, Aunt Laura, Beck, Becca, Chasity, Deborah and Paula
Thank you for encouraging me through this challenging time in my life. It really is truly unbelievable all that is going on at the same time.
I rented a small SUV to move out of my friend's apartment/couch and realized that I'm short enough to sleep in the car if the back seats are down. So, I've been sleeping in the SUV at night and selling off whatever I have left at my storage unit. Nothing of major value left but I might get $50 for one of two pieces of furniture.
My family is aware that I spent Easter weekend sleeping in a rental car and that I've been living out of the car/storage unit since last Friday. My parents keep saying they are praying for me yet they won't even invite me to stay for a few nights. My sister had the crisis center call and check on me again, yet I haven't spoken to her in 3 weeks. don't know what's wrong with people. This whole tragic set of events has shown me how I NEVER want to act to other desperate people in need.
WHEN I get back on my feet I plan on doing whatever I can to help the homeless community. It's downright shameful that my own family and close friends will not allow me to stay with them bc they don't believe morgellons is real and they all think I've totally completely lost my mind. Sad. sad. sad.
I am starving as I type this..but I'm still breathing and I guess God isn't finished with me yet. I had a can of Amy's black bean chili for dinner and that's the most I've eaten in two days. Thankfully, Denver is very health conscious and they've got some great healthy snack/meal bars at Target and local grocery stores which I've lived off those for the past few days. Eating spoonfuls of coconut oil and peanut butter to maintain energy. rubbing CO on my skin too to try and get rid of fibers and prevent new sores.
I swear...if WW3 ever happens, I have learned survival skills and rationing of food/water that will come in handy!
I've been doing a pretty good job of taking my protocol on schedule...as much as I can anyway. I will dose out the next week tomorrow morning when I get back to my storage unit. For now, I have to go and find a parking place to sleep that is on a quiet side street. Doing my best to get as much sleep as possible, and have my Jesus Calling book in the glove box.
Mel has mentioned that people have been asking about me, and I appreciate that so much! Big hugs to all of you and I hope that you are reaching some positive milestones in your own morgellons recovery.
I wanted to tell you that my heart aches for you. There is power in prayer. You are a child of God n when you cry out to Him He will hear you. Please give me a call when you can I would love to speak with you more . I too have been where you are at and God will continue to open doors for you but sometimes you have to submit and I have a starting point . Know that you are loved and prayed for .
You have more strength than you realize. This first bump in the road proves it! God Bless you for not giving up.
You offer so much hope for this community. So please continue to let us know how you are progressing.
Keep in mind with this disease it is two steps forward, one step back. Then one day you wake up and it is three steps forward, one step back. we will get there. Slowly but surely!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
In Christ Love,
So glad your prayers and all of ours have been answered.
You still have a place to live and are back on the protocol.
Praise the Lord!
You have accomplished a lot and I am very proud of you and your progress and your faith. Keep up the good work.
You are still in my prayers daily.
God Bless and Love in Christ,
Its sounds like you are making progress in the right direction. I am proud of you! God is not finished with you yet! Stay on the protocol and this website and you will get better! Remember.... God doesn't give us more then we can bear, even though sometimes we think(really) Hang in there girl! I am praying for you.
Love always, Paula
p.s. ask Mel for my number
Hello to my fellow warriors -
Thank you to Mel, John, Deborah, Laura, Paula, Nan for your encouraging words of support. It has been a crazy stressful emotional week, and through the grace of God, I am still here to tell you all about it. I guess He’s not finished with me yet! ??
I want to thank God for bringing so many wonderful, caring, compassionate people into my life through this community of warriors. Mel the Magnificent gave me two pieces of encouraging and welcomed good news last week. First and foremost, I would like to sincerely thank (and give virtual hugs) to any of you who made a financial contribution on my behalf. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are amazing for helping me and your good deeds will never go unnoticed by God…or little ole me.
Mel gave me even more good news that I would be receiving the second month of the Logos Nutritionals Burstiner Wellness Protocol!! Hallelujah! I received month 2 of the protocol on Thursday afternoon and I'm back on the protocol as of Thursday evening. I’m SO Thankful for being able to keep my health and healing on track and know that the protocol and repairing my immune system is one of the best things I can do for myself right now! Thank you SO much to John and Mel for whatever you both did to make this happen.
I’ve offered before and I truly hope that John and Mel will consider taking me up on doing some graphic design/marketing/social media work as a way to show my sincere gratitude for helping me.
I started selling items out of my storage unit a few days ago. At this point, it’s hard to look at some of the items as mine any more, even though they were prized possessions when I got them. I have moved a total of 14 times in the past 9 years and have realized that very few possessions have true sentimental value.The less you have, the more you appreciate and value what you do have, right?
I gave my friend the $300 that I got for my mattress, so I can stay here until next weekend. I’m trying to take things one day at a time and hope to sell the rest of my belongings over the next few days ...and before next weekend.
This Thursday, 04/13 is the 9th anniversary of my husband’s shark cage diving death and I will most likely be dealing with the United Nations this week, in addition to everything else I have going on. So, I hope that I can ask and rely on your continued prayers as I prepare for another challenging and stressful week. If any of you want to sign my shark cage diving petition (can sign anonymously) to help prevent another easily avoidable shark cage diving accident from occurring, I am trying to get as many signatures as I can before the 9th anniversary on Thursday. http://tiny.cc/MySharkCageDivingPetition
My body is really aching and sore after moving stuff at my storage unit this week, but I am trying to find things to be grateful for each day even though I don’t feel well.
I've got two arms and two legs that work and can walk me from A to B.
I received my food stamps yesterday so I was able to walk to the grocery store after my dr appointment and now have healthy food to last me for several days. ??
I have a lot of people praying for me to succeed and to heal from this dreadful disease and to get my life back on track.
I’ve found an amazing community and family of thoughtful and caring people that truly understand the challenges of this disease and the long road ahead of us that many of us still face. I know that I am not alone.
Thank you again to all of you who have shown me your amazing love, support and encouragement over the past few weeks. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having all of you in my life.
Big hugs and love,
My heart breaks for you truly.
You did good, going and speaking with the Priest and working with Catholic charities. I'm very proud of you for taking those steps.
I am surprised that they did not offer you the box of food and gift card. Perhaps it was because you told them you would be homeless in a few short days and the box of food would be irrelevant at this point. Unfortunately, you are at the eleventh hour and I do know in time they could help.
So where do you go from here? I think your only option now to try is to ask the person your staying with for a GRACE PERIOD.
Promise you will contribute more to the household thru bringing food to the table, perhaps cleaning and make a commitment not to have even one drop of alcohol. What things can you do to help this friend who so generously allowed you to stay there? Think? Tell him you are working on a plan with Catholic Charities to become independent. Use their resources to do this. But, you need a plan and more time. St Vincent de Paul will help..."they teach a man to fish." But you need to buy some time. I will pray for you everyday that this person will give you one more month to execute your plan.
Stop trying to convince your Sister, it just stresses you out. I'm not saying never talk to her but stay away from the I'm sick topic as it sounds like there's no sympathy there and you are trying to squeeze blood out of a rock.
I pray that if you beg for some Grace Time with this person and tell him you have a plan, that he will grant you more time. If that can happen then your work has begun to work with St Vincent's bring home food and get a job through the Catholic Charities program.
You are deeply in my prayers for a miracle! I am so proud of you and going down to the Church and St Vincent's to help you. Even if you end up in a shelter continue to do so.
Ps you're dog will be ok!
I have a little more info to share about what has been going on with me, that is unrelated to Morgellon's though with the outcome that I am hoping for, the He Cures All Foundation will be getting a very large donation from me!
Some of you know that my husband and best man were both killed in a negligent shark cage diving accident on 04/13/08 - five months after our wedding and three weeks before our honeymoon. In addition to dealing with Morgellons, homeless, unemployment, I have also been continuing my quest for truth and justice in Chris' death.
As of a few days ago, I now have the United Nations World Tourist Organization (UNWTO) helping me with my shark cage diving case. Woo Hoo!! I literally cried with joy when I received their email earlier this week. I have finally found some allies after all this time. God did hear my prayers!
I started a petition to the Supreme Court of Appeals in South Africa and it has started to gain traction. You can learn more about what happened by clicking on the petition link. It would mean a lot if you would sign my petition as a way to support and help me. You can sign anonymously.
If/when I am successful, it's safe to say that my donation to the He Cures All Foundation with be in the thousands. I'm hoping I can donate at least $10,000 if this case ever settles. The more awareness we can bring to my case, the greater the chances are that I can make a hefty donation to help others who are battling this debilitating disease.
God bless you for supporting me.
I wish I had some positive news but things keep getting worse.
I went to St VIncent de Pauls at the church of Our Mary and sat down and talked with a priest for half an hour, crying my eyes out telling him all that has happened. He said they can't help with housing and also recommended I go to a shelter. He did pray with me and said he will continue to do so.
I then walked to Catholic Charities and they gave me a few numbers to call including food banks and shelters. The only immediate help they can provide is with counseling. I will call them this morning.
Not a single person in my family or my late husband's family will allow me to stay with them. No friends will either. I don't know what is wrong with this world and the people that claim to love me and care for me. It's not like I'm a criminal who just got out of jail.
I risked another call with my sister and she told me she now thinks I'm schizophrenic and suffering from delusions and that I do not have things coming out of my skin and that all of us on this site have self diagnosed ourselves, that we are all fooling ourselves if we think this disease is real. She then laid into me about all of the other things that are wrong with me besides lyme and morgellons.... She then hung up on my when I mentioned again that GMO's are making people sick. She said there isn't a single study that proves it and that it's all a big conspiracy theory that people are making up.
Today is the last day of my first month of the protocol, and I have no way to purchase the second month. Starting tomorrow, God help me. No protocol, no place to live as of this weekend, no one will lend me any money, etc. So, I don't know what is going to happen to me. I don't see myself surviving past this weekend.
I am guessing that I will have to give up my dog Tucker tomorrow and give him permanently to the foster parents who have been taking care of him since leaving the crisis center last September.
I read my Jesus calling book before I got out of bed and it says
"I am taking care of you. Trust me at all times. Trust me with all of your heart. When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these words "I trust you, Jesus" By doing so, you release matters into My control, and you fall back into the security of My everlasting arms."
I trust you, Jesus. I pray you hear me and help me.
I just wanted to say my heart breaks for you:( If there is anything I can do, please get my number from Mel and I will do my best to help you. Praying for you my friend.
Love always, Paula
I just wanted to mention my experience with drinking.
I frequently liked a nice glass of wine at 5 or 6 pm before dinner. I had to completely stop that. Not even one glass once a week. I have replaced my cocktail hour with a glass of V8 juice and lemon and pretend it's a Bloody Mary. You had mentioned that you barely have had anything to drink since the 1st of the year. That's great!
It is of my opinion and through my readings that alcohol turns right into sugar (you might as well be sucking on sugar cubes).
According to Mel and my prior Lyme literate Dr. these parasites feed on sugar. So therefore, I have not touched a drop of alcohol since I've been on the protocol.
I think it will undo any good the protocol is doing.
I can't say it was/is easy. I loved a glass of wine before or with my dinner. But replacing it with my pretend cocktail has helped squelch the craving.
If I want to get better on this protocol it is necessary! It was hard to express/share my shortcomings publicly, but I have done this out of Love hoping it will help you and others.
Praying for you Sarah !!
Love in Christ, Deborah
Did you ask them about food?
I know that if you go down there they have big boxes of food to readily give you. You had said in an earlier post that all you had was popcorn to eat. You need more than that to get strong enough to do this. Going down there is far more helpful than a simple phone call.
They usually offer food right away and if you ask usually give a 99 cent store gift card for $9.99 to buy produce.
They also offer counseling on getting work and have leads on jobs. I never just called I went down there.
In person is always better. A call isn't enough.
They helped us and another family we knew tremendously, but we went down there.
Actually it was the Church that gave us a stipen to pay our rent for 3 months. The church has funds just for that purpose.
When you go down you have to fill out a form and show your drivers license and list your needs. Then they counseled us on what they could do to help and immediately gave us the giant box of food and I had to ask for the gift card. They really need to see you to help! Please go down there in person as they need to see you and make sure you are not just some scammer on the phone trying just to get money.
Also, at your local Catholic Church they have Mass usually at 8am and it ends at 8:30 am. You might want to stand right outside the church with a sign that you need help. Also, go to the Church office and ask to talk with a Deacon or Preist. Tell them you are in crisis and need their help. This has to be done in person and not just over the phone just asking for money.
This is all a very humbling experience, but the lessons we learn in the process are tremendous.
Please don't stop trying just because the phone call did not yield the results you need.
I'm praying for you and have faith that someone there will help you!
Maybe even someone at the Church will reach out to you..I am praying for that!
Sincerely In Christs Love,
I called St Vincent de Paul and just heard back from someone. Unfortunately, they can not help with any housing and have referred me to a shelter. :(
I'm so sorry you have to go through this alone, I just want to tell you that we are care about you. You CAN do this.
Forget about convincing your family, focus on you.
I know there has to be an option to get through this, I think Nan has a great idea with finding employment around a late shift.
The beauty of this protocol is you will heal so working now seems impossible but soon you will get your life back.
We are all praying for you.
Here is the general number to St. Vincent de Paul's general Denver Metropolitan area. Maybe they can best direct you to the closest one to you quickly:
Hi Laura, Paula and Nan,
Thank you for your prayers and suggestions. I really appreciate it.
I looked into liquidating my storage unit yesterday, however, since this is my 3rd time being late on my monthly bill, they will not allow me access to my unit until my bill is paid. I told them that I've been sick for years, have filed for disability and that I got evicted due to my illness, etc. So, they have agreed to grant me one time access to my unit to swap out some clothes. However, I can only take what I can carry since I'm not allowed to drive a vehicle on their premises until my account is paid.
I told them I was going to have to sell every single thing I owned for the 2nd time in 5 yrs and they said I can not sell anything to another individual on their property since that is called fencing and is illegal. I have to remove items off their property before even being able to sell a single item. They said that they will be watching me closely if/when my account is paid to make sure that I'm not selling anything on their property.
It's doubtful that I will get more than $1,000 $1,200 for everything in my unit since I sold off all of my really nice furniture/belongings in 2013.
My sister laid into me again this morning about going to a treatment facility or shelter, which turned into another yelling/screaming match. She is convinced that the burgstiner protocol won't work nor will the other lyme treatment (non-medical/ no supplements) I've been doing for the past few months. She is convinced that Morgellons is still a major mental disease, she thinks the CDC Kaiser study was well designed and executed and doesn't believe that either agency had any financial incentive to skew the results. She is also under the delusional impression that most patients with chronic lyme are being successfully treated with antibiotics. She is so wrong about everything and she thinks bc she is in healthcare and I am not that she knows more about morgellons/lyme than any of us. I can't even get my family to read any of the forum posts though my mum did read my story that I posted a few weeks ago. Total ignorance at its finest. She also said GMO's are not getting any of us sick and there is not a single study that proves it. Urgh. Ignorant, Ignorant, Ignorant.
Needless to say, I will not be getting any help whatsoever from my family. So, I'm still trying to figure things out...and taking it one day at a time...sometimes one hour at a time.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
You can definitely obtained help from St. Vincent de Paul in your area.
They follow these scripture verses from Mathew:
35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you made me welcome,
36 lacking clothes and you clothed me, sick and you visited me, in prison and you came to see me."
37 Then the upright will say to him in reply, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
38 When did we see you a stranger and make you welcome, lacking clothes and clothe you?
39 When did we find you sick or in prison and go to see you?"
40 And the King will answer, "In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me."
Here is the link to St. Vincent de Paul in your area:
Here is their mission statement:
Do you or know someone who needs assistance with utilities, rent, food, or transportation?
Do you feel like there is nowhere to turn? The Society of St. Vincent de Paul believes strongly in carrying out our mission of living our faith through charitable works and serving those in need. We are committed to serving people in need face to face each and every day. If you or someone you know are in need of assistance in the Denver Metropolitan Area, please look under the "find assistance tab" and contact the Society of St. Vincent de Paul at a Conference listed nearest to your location to begin the process.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE CATHOLIC TO PROCURE THEIR HELP!!!
My husband and I were blessed by their services when we hit rock bottom and debt due to all our medical expenses due to my Lyme disease. Immediately after contacting them we had food on the table and were directed to the right organizations to help us get back on our feet. No questions asked on how you got there...just solutions to lift us up. Although it was a humbling experience to ask for their help, they make you feel that you are important and that you are in Gods hands.
I will continue to pray for you and have a comfort to know that St. Vincent de Paul organization will help you. There is hope! There are over 25 centers located in your area. They will even help you with transportation. Please call them.
My prayers and love are with you, Deborah
Below is a suggestion to help you get to next step.
You should sell everything out of your storage room asap. You can find some company to help you by searching the website below. They should be able to have the sale out of your storage room. Do NOT tell them anything except you decided to down size. Ask them their process and how much they get. Usually 50% on the sale. Tell them you need the sale quickly (give them a date) since may need to relocate. Find company that can meet your needs. Let the storage company know your plans and to pray for them to give you enough time.
If you sell everything then you will get couple thousand to get you by for a month. Find cheap hotel and spray the room with dead sea salt and water to keep the room managed until you can afford Kleen Green. Walmart has dead sea salt cheap. Get garden spray bottle to treat room daily. Only stay in the room to sleep and bath. If you need a nap go somewhere else. Walmart sells cheap vacuums with vac bags that you can use to clean room.
Get job at the grocery store night shift to stock shelves. You will have to fake it until you make it to get a job so look your best and pray and most important believe you can do it. Make sure the store you pick is cold so keeps your symptoms in check so you can work. Be friendly and tell them you really love their store. Eat avocados to keep your energy going. Drink a lot of water.
Contact Mel to get help with the protocol.
It can be done. Trust me. Do it!
You are in my prayers.
I am praying for you! My heart breaks for you and the struggles you are in at this current time. Just remember, God knows your struggles and he knew them before they even happened. Please keep trusting in God for your future. He is our only hope!
As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength. Psalms 138:3 Love always, Paula
I honestly believe you must take your challenges one day at a time. This is especially true for our disease. Please pray, open your heart to God, and then listen. His answer to our prayer is not always what we want to hear.....but listen.
You are in my prayers as you decide the next step in your life. I would like to leave you with the following scripture: Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Please stay the journey and keep us posted on your progress. You can get through this Sarah with Gods help. Stay Strong!
In Christ Love,
Hi fellow warriors -
I desperately need immediate help right now. I have 8 days to find somewhere to live. After getting evicted from my apartment last May (after contracting morgellons and losing my job), I've been homeless and have bounced from couch to couch to crisis center to another couch etc. A good friend has let me stay on his couch for the past few months but he told me this morning I have to be out by the end of the month. My family will not let me stay with them and they really don't believe how sick I am. They think so much of it is in my head and they are unwilling to accept the true horror of this disease. You can read my story here. http://howicuredmorgellons.com/myforum/iwillsurvivethrive/
My parents and sister are now trying to send me to a random drug/alcohol treatment center in MO for 18 months where you are required to work 40 hours a week on your feet in some capacity. I called and spoke to the facility asking if they could help people with autoimmune issues, could I take detox baths and naps if I felt sick, etc. and they said they treat drug/alcohol addictions and that it's probably not the right place for me. My parents still think that's where I should go.
I've barely had anything to drink since the beginning of the year and they think a treatment center is the best place for me? I think it's honestly a way to ship me off somewhere so they don't have to worry about me or send me any money for the next 18 months. I'm a huge disappointment and embarrassment to my family, I have lost the majority of my friends and have nowhere else to go or turn to except to this community.
I need to find a place to stay for a few months so that I can continue my treatment and recovery from Lyme & Morgellons. I started the protocol a few weeks ago and know I've still got a long road ahead of me. I am fighting for my life and health and have been in a constant state of stress since my husband was killed. Losing my home almost a year ago and contracting morgellons was just icing on the cake.
I have nowhere else to go other than a shelter or a random treatment center in MO. I am currently living in Denver, CO and have come to the realization that Denver is probably not the right place for me anymore. So, I am willing to leave CO if I have to but I don't know where to go. I'm sick, unemployed, have zero money and checking account is overdrawn, homeless and have nowhere to go. The majority of my belongings are in storage and if the bill isn't paid by the end of this month, they will change the lock on April 1st and auction off of my belongings.
This illness and journey has made me rely on God more than ever and I've been praying daily for Him to show me signs and opportunities for physical and spiritual healing, jobs, living situation, finances, etc... I know it's God's timing and not mine. His will and not mine. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking and I have to find somewhere else to live in the next 8 days, and move out without a car or any money. Oh, and my food stamps ran out last week and have to also figure out how to feed myself today and the next few days/weeks. I've been eating popcorn for the past two days since I have no food left in the fridge.
I feel like members of this community are the only people who truly understand what I'm going through and dealing with, since many of you have been in a similar situation at some point during your treatment and recovery.
If any of you are able to help me in any capacity, I would be forever grateful. I truly hope that I survive the next few days/weeks/months and that I will be in a position to help someone else once I'm well again.
Thank you, in advance, for any words of encouragement, advice, your friendship and anything that you might be able to do to help me.