Ellen
12/10/2012
2:48:20 PM | I was in the middle of designing my Christmas cards and realized I need to post something on the forum NOW.
Today I have turned a corner in terms of dealing with this crazy disease!
I know my life as I knew it is never going to be the same, but I get insights every day that would have been impossible or at least not as likely before this happened.
I went to see a colleague of mine in Hospice today. She has cancer and may have a day or two before she passes. When I went into her room, I knew it was the exact room my niece died in last year at this exact time. Instead of it being a sad or emotional or spooky moment, I was filled with peace - that's the only way I can describe it.
Now that I am home and had more time to think, I feel stronger and ready to get back to moving forward, regardless of my symptoms. I have decided that to keep from getting overwhelmed, I plan to do as much as I can of my 'normal' activities and what has always made me happy. So today that means making cards, putting on Christmas music really loud and having as much contact as I can with the people I love.
I want to relate a funny, or absurd story about something that happened this week.
I passed a friend of mine walking in the cold and was about to do a u-turn to ask her if she wanted a ride, then looked around me at the car seats covered with plastic, bottles of windex and Kleen Green on the seat and white anthrax-looking stuff everywhere (Diatomaceous Earth sprinkled).
I would never be able to explain this craziness to her, so I had to keep on driving. I'm hoping she got home ok! but an example of how I have to give myself a break and how odd to have something we need to hide. What I tell most people is that I have something that affects my immune system and that I am not myself right now but I will be!
Love and prayers to all of you,
Ellen |
