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How I Cured Morgellons
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5/23/2020 1:02:08 PM |
To enter the contest, read the following posts and choose the one you consider the funniest. You’ll have an opportunity to vote on the May 30th conference call. "FUNNIEST STORY" 1) Hello Everyone!! Have you ever been asked what was the most embarrassing moment in your life? Well, I have been asked that question several times. So....here is my funny story. It happened when I was in first grade. My class went to lunch. One of the girls in class had a birthday. Mothers were allowed to bring cake, cookies, candy, treats for the class to eat at lunch to celebrate their child's birthday. I remember we ate lunch first and then could have the cake and cookies etc... The cookies were in a baggie to take home, but many of us ate the cookies as well as the cake. I felt so.....full!! I had worn a plaid skirt with leotards underneath that day to school. But the skirt was old and I was starting to grow out of it. It was very tight. So tight, that after I ate, it was cutting into me and was very uncomfortable. So... I undid the side button and unzipped it some. Then, returned talking and laughing with my friends at the lunch table! Our cafeteria was set up with 2 long rows of tables and a semi-wide aisle down the middle of the rows. The teachers' table was at the front of the aisle and rows so they could watch their classes. To put your tray up, you had to walk up the aisle between the rows of tables and pass the long teachers' table, swerve to the left-hand corner of the cafeteria to put your empty tray up. So, when it was time for my class to go, I simply, totally forgot all about undoing my skirt!! Yes, you guessed it!!! I picked up my tray and walked right up the aisle. About halfway there, my skirt fell to the floor. I'm standing there holding my tray so I can't pull it back up. The boy behind me said go, but I couldn't. I was frozen to the spot. Embarrassed, mortified especially when everyone in the cafeteria started laughing at me!! I eventually put my tray down on the floor, pulled my skirt up, and ran like hell to the bathroom!! I started crying!! A few minutes later my teacher came in and tried to console me, but I just wanted to go home! I told her this several times, but of course, they did not let me go home!! I feel it would have been forgotten if a few of those stinky first grade boys had not given me the nickname "skirtbutt"!! It did take a while for the incident to be forgotten. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed than that. I remember it like it was yesterday, that should tell you something!!! For years, it has existed probably in my memory only and now, all of yours!!!! It is my true funny story! Hope you all enjoyed it!! Hugs, Rockin Robin 2) Title: "I'll wing it, by hook or by crook" It was a warm summer evening several years ago. My brother-in-law, his daughter and I were at a small lake fishing in his small motor boat. All was going well with many fish being reeled in. We were about 50 yards off shore, near some lovely homes. To the right of us there were a number of Canada Geese enjoying the sunny surroundings and the quiet lake. My brother-in-law is an excellent fisherman, with great aim when he casts the jig. However, this evening his aim was a bit off on one particular cast. He was in the end of the boat nearest the geese. He cast, and began to reel in the excess line, but it seemed stuck. Oh, no big deal, likely just a lily pad or weed. Well, as it turns out, it was not exactly a weed his hook had attached to. How about a bird! Oh yes, he had nabbed one of the geese! Oh no! What to do! What a predicament. He pulled, he jerked, and as I recall the goose honked. The other geese were disturbed at such an intrusion into their soliloquy. My brohter-in-law kept reeling and jerking the line. Surely he could get the hook dislodged.... but It was not to be! The goose began pulling away, swimming strenuously against the hook stuck somewhere in his body.... Gaining momentum he slowly became airborne and took off. Truthfully, I don't remember if the line snapped or if my brother-in-law cut it. I guess both he and the goose both decided it was best to let this one get away! So the goose winged it, getting away from a "crook" with a hook! Karen 3) ONLY WHEN A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, "What's the problem officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light." Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt." Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt." The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT IT PLEASE!" The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk." Thanks, Cheryl | |||
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