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How I Cured Morgellons
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| Original 10/31/2018 Post | ||||
ksl 10/31/2018 5:38:43 PM |
Hi Everyone, I haven't written in a while, but there's been a good reason...my life in some areas is finally moving forward! It's a slow move forward, but progress nonetheless. As I've shared in the past, I have a much loved vintage home that I've been renovating for the past sixteen years. I won't go into what all I've done on it, but suffice it to say, it has been like moving a mountain. It's cost a fortune...and I think all the sanding of old paint and the various chemicals and solvents I've used over the years have contributed to the "toxic" in my toxic illness. It's been a real labor of love though, but it all came to a screeching halt when I first got bitten by "something" four years ago (though my symptoms didn't turn into MD until three years ago). I'd done so much work on the house and was about to FINALLY do the fun part...put the "lipstick" on it (paint and decorating) after doing a bit more finish work on the drywall and trim work. I'd been living for this for years...having collected many antiques...paintings...textiles...crystal...china...decorative items, etc., and had forced myself over the years to delay the gratification of decorating until I'd done everything right...from the studs out. Because of this, I'd stored most my beautiful decor items in bins, boxes and closets until I was ready to stage it into what was (in my mind) magazine worthy loveliness. Well...not to belabor the point, but we all know how much it costs to get this disease (financially, emotionally, and physically)...especially if you wandered in the wilderness of trying to figure out what to do before finding Mel, and as such, I spent another fortune on that as well. All of this has led me to the decision that I need to sell my house and downsize. It's been a heartbreaking decision, but also kind a freeing one. I'd buried myself in that house on every day off for years with a single minded goal...and had given up many other things in life to do so. Living somewhere else will give me back other things that I've been giving up. So...back to my story. When I got sick and thought something was biting me in my house, I did what everyone else does...changed my whole way of living around and narrowed my life down to three manageable rooms. You know how it is...you have to go Spartan to manage the environment. The fatigue was so bad for so long that all I could do after work was to sit in my rocking chair in my kitchen and watch Netflix on my laptop and watch everything I'd already accomplish seem to fall apart around me. It was depressing to say the least. I knew I needed to move on, but finding a way to do so seemed overwhelming. Well...as I've also mentioned, I've gotten a lot better over the years. I've been with Mel's protocol for almost two years now, and I'm not even in the same category as I was when I first found him...I'm SO much better. As my energy has returned, I've been able to do some of my long delayed projects around the house. Granted...I'm really slow...but I'm finally moving forward. I finished a big closet project a couple of weeks ago. It was a huge undertaking because I'd started it back before I got sick, and I wanted certain things in my closet...I'm kind of OCD like that. If I'd started it now, I'd have made it a lot simpler, but I already had the materials, so I needed to finish what I'd started. It was hard, but I finished it by myself, which was amazing considering how much my energy and strength levels have changed over the last couple of years. One difficult part of it required installing three eight foot long heavy shelves six to eight feet overhead while perching on a ladder. This was something I wouldn't have thought twice about before I got sick, but it was a real accomplishment post illness. That one project was a catalyst because once that was done, I could move lots of things around as the first step to getting ready for a contractor to come in and finish the rest of the house. This required moving every item in two bedrooms and three closets to my living room and dining room which I did by myself over the last two weekends except for the really big furniture which the guys who are working for me did pretty quickly. So...happily, I'm now moving forward, but there's always a cost. One is exhaustion...my work load doesn't slow down on my two jobs just because I'm having work done on my house...and two is having to have things further disorganized and disrupted during the reno process. My drywall was cracked and some of it was a mess...it needed to have the tape peeled off and re-taped and floated. Then they sanded it yesterday. If you've ever lived with drywall being sanded, you know what I stepped into when I returned home yesterday. They'd covered most everything in plastic...but now I have "snowed on" plastic mountains in my house. My excitement remains though because when I went through to look at their day's work, I was amazed at how beautiful their work was...the walls are like glass! I did have to sit myself down and have a talk with myself though...I could feel the pity party coming on...and how sorry I was feeling for myself and cheated that I've done so incredibly much work and done without a finished house for so long and now that it's finally getting done and getting beautiful, I'm going to have to sell it. My little self lecture did work, but this whole experience made me realize that I've deprived myself of beauty and life's little pleasures for way too long. My soul was being a crybaby and wanting something to make it feel better. That made me think of the following quote: “If thou of fortune be bereft, and in thy store there be but left two loaves, sell one, and with the dole, buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.” ? John Greenleaf Whittier Though we can't have bread (snicker...of course I know this is symbolic), the idea that our "souls" need to be fed is very valid...at least it is for me, so I decided to do something about it. I decided to create at least one little corner in my world that would sooth my soul until I can get all the work done on my house, sell it and then get into something smaller and more manageable that I can decorate like I want. So...(and this is the point of this post and as usual, has taken me about a zillion words to get to) I gathered some things around my house that have been put away and then treated myself to a little shopping trip to Tuesday Morning and then created a tea corner in my office. It's not stellar decor...but the eclectic items I put together make me smile when I walk in my office. I love hot tea and can now make a cup of tea and enjoy it while I work. By the way...Rooibos tea is one that's good for us to drink, and Trader Joes (at least the one I go to) now has a pumpkin flavor for fall and it's delicious! I also like cistus incanus tea and it's another good one for those of us with toxic illness. I like to add liquid stevia and almond milk to get it just right. Ok...once again, I've written a chapter book, but that seems to be the only way I can communicate what's on my mind. So...if you're just getting by in a very stripped down lifestyle now (like I have been) you may want to think about finding a way to add a little beauty to your life at least in some small way. It's sure brightened my day, and I'm sure it'll help me get through the holidays as well when I'm having more than usual of those feeling deprived moments. Hope this helps someone. Love, Karen | |||
| Responses (Newest First) | ||||
Cheryl 11/28/2018 10:10:17 AM |
Hi Karen, I love the quote by John Greenleaf Whittier. Your tea corner is lovely. The swan cups are so pretty. I have never seen any like that before. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and a picture of your tea corner with us. Cheryl | |||
Agent B1 11/8/2018 10:41:11 AM |
This was lovely to read, Karen and very nice to reflect on! Today I thank you for all the posts that I have read and am very appreciative of the thought you put into each one---every word. Encouragement is a skill. It is a gift to write and be able to inspire. I am immensely thankful for your words and the words of our community which help me endure and move forward. As I move forward, because going 'backwards' is not an option, I do lament over things that were--- However, if not for this protocol, encouragement from many of you-including the Mel Man, and reading these posts, I really don't know where I would be at this point in my life. Saturday conference calls, and Sunday prayer are added gifts. Each time you post Karen, you 'give' wonderful, vivid descriptions which allow me to share what is going on in your life, connect it with mine, and encourage me to be strong too. Thank you again! This helps me. "God is in the details." ---Ludwig Van Der Rhoe. Love you all, Agent B1 | |||
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