Click here to help toxic disease sufferers
How I Cured Morgellons
|
|
|
|
|
 | |
5/29/2017 2:44:19 AM | Thank you Aunt Laura and Deby for your input and encouraging words. Great idea about the hydrogen peroxide bottles LT1985...and Mel tells us it's great for the skin too. Additional thanks for sharing your meltdown story...it made me feel better about "a few" emotional reactions I've had to some things over the course of this last 18 months of slaying fire breathing M dragons with its multiple heads. Case in point...I'd posted about a serious meltdown a month or so ago after dealing with some relentless and painful purging symptoms that kept me from sleeping more than a few hours at a time for several days. It was a BAD meltdown...I even scared myself with it, but...as often happens with M, it preceded a turn for the better. M never seems to let us have an upswing without paying for it, but it also seems that the price is kind of equal to the outcome...in other words, the herx is equivalent to the pay off. It makes sense though that we'd all have meltdowns...of course we get tired and frustrated...this thing attacks from every angle, affects every area of our lives and depletes all of our resources...physical, mental, emotional, and financial. One thing that's been occurring to me lately is how "lucky" I am to be going this alone. Before I got M, I'd had a pretty active social life when I wanted it...though...there were times when I didn't want to be too socially active because, as I've mentioned in earlier posts, I have an old house I've been working on for several years...and if I was into a big project, I'd need to stop and focus on that to get anything accomplished. My friends who have known me for a long time used to offer to come help...but after politely declining each offer they'd get it and also understand I really don't want help working on my house (unless I hire someone to do something I can't do myself). I'm always touched at the kindness of these offers, and thank the offer-er profusely, but always decline. I tell them to just be happy they dodged a bullet...working on an old house is a tough project and I don't want to put anyone in that position...I want to enjoy my friendships / dates and not work them to death! And as we all know...no project life has to offer can even come close to the downright draining hard work of dealing with M. I've had plenty of solitary whine-fests (ok...I'll admit it...crying into my pillow) about being so alone and lonely in my greatest hour of need (I can be a little melodramatic at times) until it finally dawned on me that this is a good thing...it's kind of like working on the house...a huge project. For starters, I'm not the most fun person to be around right now. By necessity, a person dealing with M is totally self-absorbed and that's the least damaging aspect I can imagine of how this could affect others who might live with a person recovering from this disease. I'm sick of navel gazing...me me me me...and can't imagine how annoying it would be to anyone else having to deal with hearing about it all the time too. Obvious evidence of this self-absorption was my feeling sorry for myself for being alone...a REALLY self-serving thought since wanting someone else around wouldn't provide any benefit for the other person...only me...and only if that person was a self sacrificing saint. And so...it's a solitary endeavor. I put on my game face at work and around my family and friends because it's not something they need to hear about or worry about. I'll talk about it a little in terms of Lyme disease (which I do have, though my Western Blot bars have all but disappeared on intermittent lab work) but, in my opinion, it's really inappropriate for me to say much else except I'm getting better and better every day...which is actually true...though...as we all know...M will put you through two days of hell to get better for one day...and that's an optimistic ratio...it's often more like two weeks (or more) of H E double hockey sticks to get one day of better...but from month to month, I do see progress if I do everything I'm supposed to. And with these thoughts...I'm happy to be doing this alone. I can be totally self-absorbed...whine...cry into my pillow...talk trash about various pathogens...spend what I need to with no one questioning me...eat like a monk living on an organic farm...and clean house and do laundry like someone with full blown OCD...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. But...because of all of you on this site...and because of Mel and his wonderful warm personality, I really don't feel alone at all. I love to listen to the past conference calls, etc. and read the blogs of all of you here. Mel cracks me up...hilarious...but also such forceful personality and knows what he's talking about...very comforting to have clear cut information in what can often feel like a murky world of various opinions. It helps so much because...NO ONE understands this unless they've gone through or are going through it...and Mel's gone through it and is well to tell about it! The more I read and listen to what everyone's going through, the more I'm amazed and impressed with the sheer strength and determination of every one of you. There are obviously many many people out there suffering from this...but...in my opinion, the ones who have found this site and who are putting their shoulders to the wheel and pushing with all their might (i.e. following the protocol consistently plus doing everything else they know to do to get well and not giving in) are the ones to be admired and respected...because this takes a combination of guts, faith, and hard work that is above and beyond anything else I can even think of, and I'm pretty imaginative too! Like everyone else here, I don't plan on being a recovering M person forever...I plan on putting an "ed" suffix on that word...and when I do, I plan on getting out there in the social world again...but this time I think I'll have so much more to offer (although it sure won't be monetary), but the upside to all of this is the strength and character that just gets built in as a result of navigating one's way through it all. We're all building an amazing skill set! Thanks again to all of you who offer your support through posts and participating on conference calls. I don't often come in on the calls when they are happening but I do listen to the calls after the fact...and always learn so much and appreciate everyone's input. Just hearing your voices is so comforting to me...makes me feel not alone and supported by others who understand. Karen |
|
2026 © All Rights Reserved.
