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How I Cured Morgellons
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3/10/2015 12:07:30 AM | What’s up everyone? I hope you are all doing well and still on your way to healing this week!! This month has been one of many ups and downs for me. In the interest of accountability, I had something yesterday that is against protocol and our vice. Sugar. Immediately my body let me know that I did something bad to myself in the form of CRAWLING EVERYWHERE! More on that later. First the positive. Let’s see.. Give Thanks/Gratitude: First I just want to say thank you again to Mel and the foundation for sending me MMS. I am also grateful for our recent pep talks! This was very generous and sweet of you! Twiggy and Nicole you two continue to support with encouragement and body/recipes advice. Caroline thank you for your prayers these last 2 weeks and pics miles of smiles is what we need with this illness! Mary, please please keep commenting and giving your pearls. You are ahead of me in this and these postings from you and Peter keep me motivated! I am glad you are doing soo well and improving more and more. Also, very gratefully, Jeremy and I are moderating a very small WhatsApp (it’s a phone app) M chat room and it has been EXTREMELY helpful in the last week! I had a total bug freakout/meltdown the other day (I was bitten by a mite in my bed, I thought it was the morgs, but then I saw it sticking out of my foot) and it was so meaningful to have my loved ones there with me on whats app in real time. Cynthia and Melissa where are you? I am thinking of you! Cynthia I cannot find Village anywhere. Maybe I will check online. I missed that last prayer warrior meeting with John B. but I do want to be part of the next with him and likely Peter (awesome prayer warrior!) I know he was probably there! Weeks & Drops: I am at week 26 of protocol and I am on my 21st week MMS at 21 drops in 8-11 oz water. I have not seemed to have a major herx yet though I have had plenty of days with nausea and headache since as low as 13 drops. It seems most have had herxing at earlier drops so I’m not really sure if no herx yet is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or what’s up with me? Symptoms: My current symptoms are crawling (still), random bites/pimpling, some fatigue (a little less on most days), more noticeable much larger and longer fibers and specks after showers, and odd rapidly increasing numbers of the red and brown spots on my skin. My body temperature has climbed back to 98 vicinity most days and even 97+ on some nights. My digestion seems ‘good’. I now go about 2-3 times a day most days-sometimes 4. My PH is still sticking in the 6.5-7.75 range daily with the exception of some 5.75 early mornings. Not sure why that is... If you are like me, please do not compare your health level to mine by months on protocol, I know I am far along in weeks and should likely be more improved with the crawling but I did mess up in the beginning with sugars (and also recently) so I am not where I could be. =( Learn from my sugar addiction pitfalls! Diet: My diet is exactly the same for the last 3 weeks as my previous post, but what I learned by keeping this diet strict and with buying only those specific foods is that I can add in one thing at a time and see. For instance, one week I tried to add in 99cent store sunflower seeds (instead of the more expensive whole foods ones) and 1 Vans waffle and after reading the label very carefully (I had just glanced in the 99C store) my body told me that was a no no (the seeds recipe had wheat and the Vans had potato starch mixes). I found I can tolerate Ezekiel’s sprouted low sodium bread in small doses (1 slice a day) and 1 type of Quest bar. Yay! I also tried to see if I could have oats 2 weeks ago, ¼c as oatmeal snack w my Stevia and no, not yet based on my slight inflammation reaction. They were not gluten free though and that may also have been the issue? I should try those in a couple weeks. Ironically, I WAS tested for Celiac disease and gluten sensitivity/allergies (right before I found out I had this) and I tested negative for both. I also hope to add in red cabbage, and organic tomatoes at some point these next week’s so that I can make some of the site’s recipes. I am forever grateful to Peter for his outline helping me to know where to start in terms of food! Emotional: Emotionally this week I was all over the place, the week before that I was freaking out periodically but only at night with the number of fibers I have been seeing and I have noticed been getting angrier more quickly. Luckily my friends and sweetheart are still there for me. Yesterday when I was isolating as usual, my friend actually came to my house to pick me up and take me out to the park. There were bugs at the park. I did feel that they were “attracted’ to me and coming after me and I was very afraid, but my friend said something that I will try to take into account. Firstly, the outside is in fact the bugs home. WE are the intruders there; but also because of our illness we notice these kinds of things A LOT more than the average person. It will seem like it is us specifically or something we do, but not necessarily. It is the awareness that we have. Like the pigeon/pavlov scene in Mr. Nobody. Have you guys seen that movie? Maybe it's not me flapping my wings-after all. Yes, I may be attracting the same amount of bugs as before M, but I am waaay more aware now and it really seems like it’s more and it might not actually be. So she said “don’t get lost in it, and to continue to think positive about your healing AND your attraction of bugs”. You are a child of God, protected and loved. You are also loved by bugs. I am going to try that line of reasoning this coming week and see how that goes for me mentally. Damn this phobia! My birthday is later this month (Aries lil Tiger), I was going to actually have one homemade coconut cookie with a candle (I cut out coconut and such 2 months ago) however, after yesterday I feel that now I cannot have anything at all for my birthday. In the interest of accountability, I really messed up the diet yesterday. I went to the church for the first time in many weeks convicted that I need to be in the body, sick or not(instead of listening to the sermons like I usually do). So I rushed there, did not have breakfast and had not taken my bfast pills yet; I was already really hungry. I walked in late and everyone was already inside! Walking in I immediately saw all these muffins, bagels and cookies laid out on the table, all alone and yummy, and I don’t know what came over me, but I just went for it. I took a small thumb size piece, tasted it and was like "No, I cannot eat this!", but after tasting it and it was good (ugh, just like Eve) and I guess too because I had a very strong desire to be/feel “normal” - get this ..I HAD ANOTHER small piece of something else! Ugh. :( It was so terrible in that it was yet another one of my worst moments because there I was and I really had had ANOTHER piece even after the first, KNOWING that later on in the evening I would be paying for it likely in crawling and biting. Instead though, as the service ended and I went up for healing prayer call, I suddenly felt ALL OF THE MISTAKE full freaking force! These things did not wait for the night time or even after 5, they were doing the happy dance right there in the morning. Belly, shoulders, feet and butt were crazy crawling - 30 minutes later crotch! Oh NO! Yeah, I felt it everywhere. AGAIN. It was not as bad as the onset of this, but yeah it was bad. I spent much of yesterday being pissed at myself and expecting the absolute worst. In retrospect, however, even my loss of control was somewhat self-controlled in the sense that I did not go and have entire pieces of these things or gorge on everything delicious that I saw. I was alone and could have done myself in even worse than I have. I took very small pieces of each. What I was not thinking about at the time, was these next 3-4 week’s which I WILL STILL be PAYING FOR IT because once again I have set myself back and will have crawling, bites, inflammation, and such for LONGER! I DID NOT LET THAT THROW ME though, the SAME DAY I ATE raw and slightly cooked PROTOCOL foods AS I USUALLY DO. IMMEDIATE RETURN TO PROTOCOL, bot! Get your butt back in GEAR soldier! Today I was on protocol food as well and plan to continue. We may mess up, but that does not mean we are to keep on messing up just because we did once. I learned that from the Bible. That's also a big part of NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.. even in our failures. Not just our FEARS. There was a scripture about that, that I was made aware of in the Spirit and I apply that to my food mess up and my life. To me it was clear, I am going to sin, but I say I believe Jesus gave his life for me and my sins, so if I keep on sinning I am then spitting in God's face of love and Christ's death. If I keep on sinning, while actively attempting turning from my sin on the whole, and asking for forgiveness that is a whole different thing in God's eyes. That is repentance. Turning from sin-however long it takes me to get free of it is not important. However me continuing to sin while not asking for forgiveness and just saying "well I am not perfect, might as well just continue doing what I have no control over" is NOT leaving room for God to work or for my change to become more like Christ. SLOW AND STEADY. The rest of the night was bites/pimpling and the crawling feeling on places where I don’t usually have crawling. I tend to think of crawling as a whole skin issue now thanks to Peter and Twiggy, but I used to think about it in terms of specific body parts, where it was what caused a specific area to crawl and it used to be all over. Last night was like that. It showed how far I have come with the crawling without noticing - since I don’t want the crawling at all and that’s the only symptom I hate, I didn’t see how it wasn’t everywhere like it was before protocol. But yesterday was also a reminder of where I have come from with the crawling. Like when you used to feel it in your belly and then you don’t anymore, and then you do..or your shoulders, head or feet etc. It really SUUUUUUUCKS to backslide! I’m not a complete lost cause - there is a new normal for me (though yesterday was a wtf FAIL). I do have it normalized at home, now I need to master it for when I leave my home (which realistically I mostly do). That situation was a sad reminder really though one of the reasons I don’t really leave my home that often. My lesson was learned- I hope finally! ONE DAY AT A TIME though. Surprisingly today is a lot better than yesterday symptom-wise though, even in terms of the dreaded crawling. I don’t really feel as much as I expected, or as yesterday but the new bites/pimpling do still itch and the red inflammation has inflamed already twice today... I am somewhat excited for this month because even though I am sick I am still finding light work, still able to write songs, Freeman got his first health customer and we are even mixing and mastering one song this week. Honestly, this is more musical momentum than I have had in 8 months of the year and half I have been ill (not just M). God willing I will stay strong and in the fight as will you all. Please keep me in prayer to be strong against food temptations warriors and I will do the same for you. Also, I would like to learn to deal with my bug fears and anger/frustration of the loss of the old ‘normalcy’ that gets me every once in a bit. These are my small goals for this month. Onward and upward, right?! Motivation/Scripture: So this is my scripture for this week, for sure. Paul talks a lot about the Christian walk, and continuing in the faith no matter what, remembering as we run the race that we were in fact, bought with a price and that prize is everlasting life. Weeee! However, I feel this applies in this area of my self-control and discipline with M and protocol as well. He says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! Keep running girly. Mhmm. Yes I need this. Hebrews 12:1-29 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Rawsome New Recipes: Oh, here are two more “raw”some recipes for any of you interested ones who also want to try being 50% raw... Cucumber Noodles with Coconut Lime Cumin Dressing Ingredients 4 medium to large cucumbers 1/8 cup nuts (of your choice, soaked until soft, rinsed and drained) - you can prob also try this with tahini) 1 young Thai coconut, flesh from (about 1 cup and save the water =) 4 limes, juice and zest from 1/4 cup coconut water (from a coconut - don’t get the sugar laden “coconut water”) 1 teaspoon raw chili garlic sauce 1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger 2 teaspoons cumin 2 tablespoons black sesame seeds 4 scallions (green onions) thinly sliced Himalayan salt (I use 4 grinds or 1/4 teaspoon) Instructions 1. Slice cucumbers into "noodles". Set two of the cores aside to add to the dressing. Set noodles in a strainer to let excess water drain. 2. Place two cucumber cores, nuts, coconut, lime juice (not the zest), coconut water, chili garlic sauce and cumin into a high speed blender or food processor and blend until smooth. 3. Stir in zest, black sesame seeds and onions. Pour over cuke "noodles" and mix well. Salt to taste. Turmeric Milk (this is great I have these 2x a week) Yieldz: 2 servings Ingredients 2 cups almond milk (homemade almond milk or coconut milk, and any other non-dairy milks are a fine substitute) 1 teaspoon turmeric powder 2 teaspoons freshly grated ginger, or 1 teaspoon ginger powder 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon powder 1/4 teaspoon cardamom powder (optional) Stevia (or Xylitol) sweetener to taste Instructions 1. Blend all ingredients together in a cup. Drink and enjoy! Praying for you all to have strength, comfort and more trust in Him this week. At ease (uncharacteristically), Shari |
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