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How I Cured Morgellons
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4/5/2015 12:09:58 PM | Birthday: Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! I love you all! You are good to me! Thank you. The Lord I guess even answered my silent prayer in that regard as something amazing happened right after I wrote that post to you guys! He is SOOOO AMAZING! The Special Day: (a repost)Tuesday my girlfriend had asked me to work out together and told me she wouldn't be around on Friday, or Sunday for our hike, so I had to go workout with her on Saturday instead. I said Ok, cuz God is my witness, I'm GOING AFTER MY FITNESS, baby. =) She calls me up and comes to pick me up. She asks me to make sure I have my pills, shots and my special food with me just in case, so I don't miss pill times and that we can leave food in her fridge while we workout and I can eat my lunch afterward without having to have to drive me back home. "Ok." So we get to her house and she opens the door. I walk in and my loved ones were there! They had decorated. They had planned. They were smiling and began playing the song I like to dance to! They screamed SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I had gone there looking bummy (ready to workout and sweat) and my friend gave me a birthday bag with nice clothes and shoes inside it to change into and enjoy the party and take pics and sefies with! How sweet were they?! They made me a protocol safe "cake" and they also had a special gluten free "pizza" made w/ vegetables just for me. I was able to finally eat with everyone else for once! So much thought went into it and their loving kindness just washed over me. My friends put their own plans and trips on hold, got these damn expensive organic ingredients we always have to buy, had trial cooked the "cake" twice and took no chances with what I could eat or anything that would give me symptoms. I felt utterly and completely loved. Throughout the week as they had asked questions about sizes (saying I was the same size as someone else they were getting something for, lol) and my food restrictions (pretending to want to get on my food plan for "diet" reasons) and I had thought nothing of it - I had NO IDEA that they were doing it for ME. I felt sooo blessed by the Lord and I gave him all the thanks during my candle-blowing-make-a-wish moment and just soaked it all in (they even put candles in) - I joked that I can also maybe eat the wax on protocol? I have to check! I was rap serenaded to and sang to with true love from my friends and Freeman - I even cried with gratitude, totally touched, which I have not done in a very very long time. We danced, we did karaoke, and played games and stayed up all night laughing and talking. My gifts were absolutely perfect and everything I had really NEEDED AND WANTED was given to me even my new; washable shoes! I just feel so grateful to just be with them and have them as my “family” during this hard time. It was so wonderful and sweet of my fiancee and my friends to plan to do that for me! Every detail was covered. Remarkable! I am sick and I may not be living la vida awesome like I once was. But what I learned from this birthday experience this year is that I am NOT forgotten. I am NOT unloved. I am NOT unworthy. I am NOT a leper that no one would touch. I am blessed by even the fact that people believe me! They believe I have this. I am NOT denied or invalidated as I have been my ENTIRE life. I heard the little voice of the Lord that day in solitude and it was/I realized if this wonderful, thoughtful, compassionate, self-sacrificing way is how my fiancee and my friends love me, and they are definitely not perfect, then HOW MUCH MORE must my holy, perfect, selfless Father in Heaven? "He said "You see how you feel right now my child? So loved? So appreciated? They are not perfect and look how they love you, this way, through Me. This is how I love you. THIS is how I SEE you. How much more I love you!" Astounding! I feel so absolutely blessed and loved and lucky! It has been an eye opening and unbelievable birthday this year for me. A trip to 7-11 and a lesson in God’s timing: I have some bad/ good news. The Lord actually told me the other day he is not going to heal me, YET. =) I was bummed out a lil by this truth, but He gave me a real peace about it. I was going to the 7-11 for sunflower seeds and next door to it for a quick healthy food meal (salmon broccoli and cabbage) cuz I had no energy to cook as I was feeling very weak that day .. While I was there a woman was asking for change outside. I walked into the store and bought what I needed and I left. Now normally 9/10 times I give it, but that night I just didn't. I even had said to her "why did you not ask me BEFORE I went in? I could have gotten you something you need in there?!" I said "I am sorry I now have none." Then walked to my car to leave. While I was driving home The Lord said "turn around, go back" So I said "No. Come on lord why? I just want to go home and eat and rest right now." He said "Do you think she does not want to eat? He said "please give the woman your change, go back" he said "You do not know who is my sheep nor can judge whom I care for" "You cannot read the hearts" Having had a similar bad situation with the Lord in my past with exactly this type of request from Him (when I first came to Christ). Against my own will in obedience; I said "Ok fine. I’m out of gas, and I don’t want to but, I will do whatever you want Lord." Instead of comfortably going home, midway I turned the car around and drove all the way back to the store. He was very insistent that I go back. When I got there, she was not there. I had looked and even drove around the block to see if I could find this woman. The woman was gone! I said "Lord why the heck would you have me come here! She's not even here! Now the woman is gone?! It's too late! I missed my chance to give her the change..." He said softly "My child you are learning a lesson here. Do you see? Do you see it?” It's not about "your timing." It's about "MY timing." "Please do not question MY love or MY timing. I love you. I told you my ways are higher than your ways. My understanding higher than your understanding. Do not lean on your own understanding. You see how you want to be healed? "How MUCH you want to be healed Shari!? It will not be on your time, my sweet child. My timing is perfect." "I know the plans I have for you." "I said I WILL HEAL YOU. I told you that I would (he did tell me before). But it will be on my time. I am working on you and through you." "It is not your time, yet." He gave me quick images of all the people I am talking to right now, all that are watching me and my walk with him while I have this, and glimpses of sooo many in my life. Then through this conversation with Him I really came to a peace about it. I mean firstly, The LORD is talking to ME. Therefore, He HEARS me and HE is WITH me. I realized he is not going to heal me on my time. AKA RIGHT FREAKING AWAY! I can keep praying for healing, and of course, I SHOULD because IT’S COMING. However, He said what He said dude and He IS God. “WAIT!” Regardless of how often I ask it is just not his time for me! Regardless of my clamings of healing on this body, He WILL do it when He will. And what I really came to see was when he told me was look at how much he has done thus far (with this terrible illness) in my character, in my relationship with Him, within my fiancée, my friendships, with people I talk to online and even showing me His love for me and HOW He loves me! I need only lend an ear. How he really IS a God of love, not punishment. He is using this unfortunate circumstance to test me, to quicken me, to change me. Time is short! He’s not punishing me. I'm often so focused on what he can do and yet is not doing for me and on my time, rather than ALL He is doing in me and through me on HIS time. He is using me! I am his instrument of love, of hope, of His power in my life, of His promises that I believe and the fact that He answers prayers – in so many ways I probably don’t even fathom – and often don’t even trust Him, he is using me and (what a great glorious God!) how many others at the SAME damn TIME!? Alternately, I see that was not giving that woman change on His time while focused on my own desires. I see now how I'm often so worried about healing on my own time - it was flawed! "Timing is everything" He had said. The time to give is/was "when I had it" right there; as it says in the Word! I just want to say God is amazing! I am just praising Him today. Jesus is RISEN! The Lords timing IS perfect just like His will. I know Jesus understood that. Soo thankful today again too, for Jesus as ransom, his sacrifice who has taken away my sins and saved me from the wrath of a just and holy God. Wow. In my rudimentary puny little mind’s way of understanding the Father showed me all that heavy stuff in that one 30 minute experience that night. I think if He had randomly said all that to me and I was home or whatever, and I did NOT have to actually drive back or go out of my way to find that lady (ie. be uncomfortable) I may NOT have understood His/that message the same way. He gently talked to me and carried me through it -> crystal clear. “You are NOT going to be healed, yet. It will be on MY time, NOT yours, my sweet child. Wait on me. Trust in me. MY timing IS PERFECT.” And it is! It just was so powerful! Yes. Ok! Your will be done Lord! Anyway, for anyone who is a believer that this may apply to, I just really wanted to share. This is STILL the year I get well, I believe, I will prepare for my wellness, but while waiting and praising all the way. Because it will be on His time, NOT mine. To me, God is just amazing! Praying for you all to have strength, comfort and that we all have more trust in Him this week through this terrible and difficult trial, Shari |
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