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How I Cured Morgellons
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Karen 11/22/2017 8:11:31 AM edit upload | Thank you Laura. You never fail to offer the kindest of words and encouragement to all who post. You are a beacon of light to others, and such a blessing as well. I hope you and everyone who reads this post has a Thanksgiving this year of peace and contentment. I know it's hard to navigate this type of a food holiday with MD...but I hope every one of you tries to do something wonderful for yourselves if possible. You're right...life is full of peaks and valleys...and at the end of the day, we all want the same things...to love and be loved...to laugh often...and to share the beauty of life with those around us when we can. However...there are always two sides to a coin. We cannot appreciate the sunshine unless we've shivered in the shadows...otherwise we'd have no appreciation for the sun's warmth and light. To me...that speaks volumes about perspective...and it occurs to me that differing perspectives can lead to so many creations and beauty in this world...but this can also lead to many or our misunderstandings in life. This is so evident when we attempt to explain our MD experiences to others. We often find it difficult to impossible to convey our reality to someone who's mind is closed toward anything except what they've already decided is accurate or not. The same is true for anything else in life as well...we struggle so much to attempt to share our perspectives...and because we all have differences in this area, our perceptions can sometimes collide. This can create so much internal conflict in those of us with this disease...and with this holiday, we may find ourselves in the position of attempting to explain why we are eating differently than those around us. If so...then just take a deep breath and try to say the least possible in a "breezy" way. I've been reading quite a bit in the last couple of days about conflict and estrangement...and one expert said that when people ask you probing questions you'd rather not answer to not get caught up in giving a lot of explanation...just be very casual and "breezy" in your answer...and give the least possible bit of information...and then change the subject. This can be difficult for some of us though...because we have all been so disenfranchized from the main stream with this disease in every aspect of our lives. I believe this estrangement from our old reality and the subsequent isolation can have quite an impact our social skills and leave us more vulnerable and open to hurt and criticism. It can leave us more emotionally fragile and easily rattled. Because of this we may be at risk for some hurt on these holidays just from the dynamics that occur when so many people get together. We all have our hopes and dreams...and we have to filter reality through our expectations. That is sometimes not easy to do. Norman Rockwell doesn't always show up...and this can lead to lots of internal stress that we don't need. These are just a few thoughts...things we might experience over the holidays while dealing with MD. To me...having a realistic mindset is always helpful, and I love this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” The phrase "blunders and absurdities" has always stood out to me. It captures what so often happens in our lives that is difficult to understand or explain...and it seems that these types of things are always triggered by the smallest of things. Sometimes there's a domino effect...and this can bring us so much confusion and stress...not to mention hurt feelings and difficult thoughts...but we can navigate these rough waters by calming our minds through prayer and reflection ahead of time...during...and after. And speaking of absurdities, MD is a huge "absurdity"...and if we've been able to manage it, then I guess the rest of it is small stuff. However...let's all agree to NOT invite MD to our Thanksgiving dinner. Let's plan to leave those heavy thoughts locked in a closet and escape from them for at least a little while. Some of you may have a place to go...and some may not. In any case, I think we all should try to make that day special by focusing on what we have to be thankful for. And...I for one, am extremely thankful for this site where so many of us are getting well. Warmth and love to all, Karen |
Laura (aunt) 11/21/2017 8:49:50 AM edit upload | Dear Karen, Thank you for taking the time to share your heart with us. This was so beautifully written and the message will touch the hearts of all who read it. As you stated, we will never be the same person we once were. This disease has forever changed our lives. I agree with dysfunctional being the norm in families. Family life is full of peaks and valley's but we live through it with love. Each one of us love differently but we still love. Thank you for sharing the cookbook memories. My fondest childhood memories are of Thanksgiving when my parents would start cooking the turkey at 2:00 in the morning. I can still smell the aroma of turkey cooking during the night and still hear my parents downstairs laughing while basting the turkey. I am blessed to have such great Holiday memories. In life we must move from one stage to the next. Some stages good, some not so good. I look forward to the day when I look back on this and recall the many wonderful people who helped me get through MD. I look forward to the day when I can say thank you God because He brought me through this disease while teaching the profound truth about His word. I look forward to the day when I can begin building new memories with my children and grandchildren. In the midst of looking forward to my better future; I will never forget the past days or people who became family during my battle with MD. God Bless you Karen for your beautiful spirit and God Bless all the amazing people in the community. I pray for your light to shine as you overcome this disease. Do not give up hope and then have the faith in God; believing you will overcome this in time. Please know we are here for one another and God has truly made us family. "We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing." 2 Thessalonians 1:3 In Christ Love, Laura |
Karen 11/19/2017 2:55:09 PM | Hey Brenda, I am so happy you've found anything I've posted to help you in any way. We all know how hard this road is...and if we can be there for one another in love and light, that is the true meaning of what Christ wants for us all. It made me particularly happy to know that some of the recipes I shared played a part when you resumed your family routine again of sitting down at the table with your son for dinner. That is such an important ritual on so many levels..and it's one we as MD sufferers often lose for a period of time. I have so many happy memories from my childhood around our round kitchen table at home and around our red farm table at our camp house in the deep East Texas piney woods. My family was far from perfect, but we all had a sense of humor and all loved to laugh. My father died in 2010, and we ended up selling many of his things because we all had so much of our own "stuff" and didn't have room for much more. However...we just could not let go of that antique round oak table. My sister didn't have room for it...and I ended up storing it because I was working on my house. However, two years ago, my daughter bought a house with a bay window in the dining area of her kitchen. She's the one who is the mother of my two grand children. It was such joy to take that table to her house. It fits perfectly in her dining area, and it gives me so much joy to sit down at that table with her children. But...please...don't let me leave anyone with the idea that my family is perfect. We are far from it...but the shining moments when we do connect far outweigh the sad times in emotional impact...but...believe me when I say the bad times can be ring dingers. But...it's the happy moments that define who we are and set the standard for what we are all trying so diligently to get back to. Life and relationships are often complicated enough without MD, especially around the holidays...but when we factor in this trip to the underworld we're all dealing with, then things can get so much more complicated and stressed. That's when we see our not finest moments surface...and all of us are all too familiar with that dynamic...and these things seem to have a domino effect on the entire family in one way or another. And...since most of us already have some kind of dysfunction going on in our families anyway (because that's actually what is "normal"...it's called "life")...adding someone who is already stressed out to the max from this disease that most of the other family members likely do not understand can sometimes send everyone to the land of not putting their best foot forward. But I often think...would that be the case had we not ever known the opposite? What would it be like for us if the bad parts were all we'd ever known? That's kind of the "problem" though...we all have known those wonderful great moments at different times in our lives...and the contrast is what makes us long for how we know things can actually be. It is this...these memories of what life was like back when we were "normal" that seem to keep us all feeling like we have some place we are trying so very hard to get back to. I believe we CAN get back to them. The food is important...but as Brenda said...we DO have all kinds of food we can eat. It's the feelings and connections that we want so desperately to resume...and I believe this is possible. It might not be this year...or next...because MD can tip the balance to max stress in any familly...but I believe if we have a great picture in our heads of what we want things to be like, we will work toward that goal subconsciously. So...please bear with me as I wander off down a poetic highway. This time of year can bring out our happiest feelings and our saddest...and we as MD sufferers know only too well how those sad times manifest. But...I choose to focus on the highest and happiest thoughts...and pray every day that my family will one day return to enjoy those kinds of moments on a regular basis with love, respect, and understanding, and a sensitivity for how others' feel in all things. And...as I've mentioned before in the world's biggest cliche in one of my recipe posts..."a picture is worth a thousand words." But...sometimes we don't have a clear picture in our minds of what we really desire...so we need to come up with one to keep inside our hearts. Sometimes the "picture" is more than a picture...it's a full blown event...rounded out with sensations and feelings. If we can capture this kind of "picture" in our hearts, then the end effect will be even more powerful in its manifestation. And speaking of this...here is where I get one of my favorite "happy pictures" in my head. I have a cookbook in my kitchen displayed on one of those cook book stands. The cook book is from the Houston Junior League a few years back. It's called, "Peace Meals...A book of Recipes for Cooking and Connecting." The cookbook is open to my favorite two pages which is part of the foreward. I've underlined my favorite quote from those two pages...and I'll share it below: "Because daily life is where Life happens. And inside the patchwork of countless ordinary moments are moments of singular,extraordinary beauty, luminous instants of connection that, when we experience them, revive and restore our souls. Moments like these can happen anywhere at any time, but it is not surprising that peace so often steals over us when we are gathered together around a table breaking bread." I don't know who actually wrote this foreward...but I think the writer is brilliant...and...I cannot help crying every time I stop long enough to actually read the two pages where this quote falls. Here's the rest of what's on those two pages...the writer goes on to say, "For even if meals punctuate our days with less ritual than they did our grandmothers', an ever-present thread running through our lives is food. It's the instrument of physical regeneration, a biological necessity. We eat to live. But there is more to it than that. Food prepared with mindfulness and intent, and eaten with thought and thanksgiving satisfies hungers that are deeper than those of the body. Our first and most basic needs are, after all for food and for touch --we reach out for them the minute we're born. Later, it is at the table that we as children begin to learn life's most important lessons: grace and courtesy, the art of conversation the responsibility that comes with choice. The table is where we come to know our own appetites and to cultivate an awareness of what truly fulfills us. As adults we share a meal when we want to mend a fence, seal a deal, celebrate a passage, fall in love, or simply take a pleasurable break from life's clutter with a friend. We share food to connect." So...that's what's in the foreward...and again...I've written an epistle...but...of course...there's even more I want to share! My beautiful mind picture is of this happening in my dining room on my antique table. The mirror on the sideboard reflects the sunlight...and ice melts in a vintage crystal pitcher and goblets of sparkling water with a mint sprig on top of each. Everyone is getting along and we all love and respect each other as we laugh and talk. I've been told over and again that I have a very romantic view of life...and that this can get me in trouble. Ok...duly noted...AND duly experienced. But...when one gives up the things that are dearest to the heart...like family and love, then it makes for a very dark world indeed. Those of you who are reading this, please do not ever give up hope. Life may not ever look exactly like it did before...but then again...we will never view life exactly as we did before...and this is because our hearts have been expanded through our experience with this disease. We now have the gift of a deeper understanding of how others feel and a deeper appreciation of the good moments that come our way more and more as we get deeper and deeper into time on the protocol. The "picture" I just painted was of a whole Thanksgiving "event'...and not one thing (except the water) was about the food or drinks. It was about peace and family and friends and love. Lol...sometimes I think it may be easier to get rid of MD than to navigate the rocky terrain of family and significant other relationships...but I will always believe it's a worthy goal worth fighting for...and I truly believe that God has expanded each of our hearts to a larger capacity for love and understanding. Peace be with you and yours Brenda...and to anyone else who is reading this. My prayers are for all of you and your families in this holiday season. Love, Karen |
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