Click here to help toxic disease sufferers
How I Cured Morgellons
|
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
4/14/2019 9:39:11 AM |
I am taking a break from grading papers (oh, there is NEVER time off!), and thoughts of tomorrow are distracting me anyway. The mere thought of retirement is SO emotional for me. In the early stages of my illness, I watched so many aspects of my life fall apart. I lost so much of my hair. I lost some friends. I nearly lost my sanity. I nearly lost my marriage. I lost my self-confidence. Oh, the list goes on and on. After being forced to take a two-month leave from school and fighting my way back to work, I vowed that I would not let this illness take the one aspect of my life that had always been successful: my teaching career. Part of me feels like the disease has won at some level if I am retiring so that I can focus more on my health and living life for myself instead of always for others. The other part of me feels like my job has greatly contributed to my descent into illness as well as my inability to heal faster. Part of me wonders what God REALLY thinks about my retirement. Is he singing secret hallelujahs up in heaven that I’ve finally come to my senses, or did he have other young people in mind who desperately need me for some reason? Every time I think of submitting that letter of resignation, my heart hurts and my eyes flood with tears, like right now. I’ve had an IV line in my arm for so long that I wonder what life will be like without it. In other words, so much of my life has even devoted to that school. It’s kind of like a dysfunctional marriage that is great when it’s great and awful when it’s awful. I appreciate all of the suggestions about what to do after I retire, whenever that ends up being. I know I will still work, but I don’t want to get myself stuck in another job that causes me as much stress as teaching does. I do have a lot of lesson plans related to different texts that work so well. I will investigate that website that you mentioned. I can always tutor or sub or proctor the SAT/ACT. I have jewelry background as well: I worked for a major retail chain for 4 years part-time in the summers and on week nights. Sales is easy for teachers. I’m used to talking people into doing things they don’t necessarily want to do! LOL! Anyway, I will be saying lots of prayers for you and Cheryl this week. I hope both of your surgeries are successful and that your recoveries are fast. I’m absolutely sure they will be because both of you have the prayers of so many. You’ve both done so many incredible things for so many people on this forum, including myself; it leaves me speechless just thinking about it. Every once in a while, I think back to what my life was like when I was a little girl. I think I’ll send Mel a picture of me when I was little if I can figure out how to do it. If I could just go back in time and experience what it was like for me to be five years old...just for 24 hours...it would be so wonderful. I’m sure my mind wasn’t focused on anything other than the immediate moment. It is a shame that we lose that capacity so much as adults. Somehow, I think if I could still think that way on a daily basis that my recovery would happen at light speed. Thank you again, Karen! Love you! Jamie | |||
|
2026 © All Rights Reserved.
