Click here to help toxic disease sufferers
How I Cured Morgellons
|
|
|
|
|
 | |||||||
8/19/2019 11:08:49 AM |
First and foremost, I need to thank the following people: Mel, Karen, Cheryl, and Chrissie. I will get to why after I describe what happened. I would expect that school administrators would ATTEMPT to keep the first day back after summer vacation UPBEAT in nature. I’m probably giving them WAY too much credit. That wasn’t the case at all in my school. In the morning, we had an almost two-hour presentation about suicide, depression, and anxiety. Although it was meant to address the problem with adolescents, it was fraught with the potential to really upset people who have lost loved ones to suicide, those who have attempted suicide, those who have suffered from severe depression, or those who have suffered from severe anxiety. I spent a lot of time this summer finding productive ways to reign in my own fear, anxiety, and depression about the disease and felt really strong as a result. What I didn’t need was a two-hour presentation about what I have lived and know intimately. Although I have never tried to harm myself, in the early stages of this disease, I was a huge mess. I’m not afraid to admit that, at times, I wondered why I was still here. The presentation was a huge trigger, and I don’t think I was the only one who became upset. So, I walked out today after a mere 20 minutes. I decided that I have choices in life, and I made one today. I walked out on unnecessary negativity. By the time I reached my classroom, I was crying. I called Mel. He probably thought I was having a weak moment, but the true reality is that when I get angry, I cry out of sheer frustration. Mel must have immediately gotten on the phone because over the course of the morning and afternoon, I heard from Karen and Cheryl...and Chrissie even called me from England when I was driving home from work. It was so comforting to know that I wasn’t having an overreaction, that my feelings were more than justified. Karen is a teacher. She knew exactly what I was doing dealing with in the moment and how ludicrous public education can be at times. She made me laugh. Cheryl reminded me of who I really am, and she was both comforting and affirming—as she always is. Chrissie reminded me that I have future choices that maybe don’t include me teaching for another four, agonizingly lengthy years. She caught me right as I was leaving school, and we spoke the entire 45-minute drive back to my home. It was so kind of her to call from overseas! Karen, Cheryl, and Chrissie, you deserve my heartfelt thanks, and I wanted to make my gratitude public in a post. To make matters worse, the afternoon two-hour session was led by a teacher’s union lawyer, reminding us of “the 1,000 ways a public school teacher can lose his or her job in America.” In the morning, the message was: suicide rates in teens are high, make sure you develop relationships with them. In the afternoon, the message was: make sure you cover your butt and don’t be personal at all with teenagers because it might land you in court. Seriously? I’ve taught for 31 years. When you work with teenagers, you get absolutely NO WHERE with them unless you make personal connections. The “affective” realm of education is SO undervalued in our litigious society. I refuse to live in fear that anything I might innocently say or do will land me in court when I know I would NEVER, not even on my worst day, EVER harm a child. I ran into one of my young colleagues at the end of the day. She was sitting in a classroom, looking like someone had just punched her in the stomach. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “I just started my career. How am I ever going to survive 30 years of this?” I didn’t have an answer for her. She’s a phenomenal young teacher, and all I could do was offer her friendship and support. The great news from me is that I am on my way OUT, not IN. She, on the other hand, has to somehow find a way to get through a career that makes people feel so vulnerable. These days, teachers are “guilty until proven innocent,” not the other way around. Last year, one of my colleagues was accused of doing something he absolutely did NOT do to a child. He was cleared of all charges within a very short period of time, but he couldn’t bear to come back to work. He had almost 40 years of teaching under his belt, and he had to retire in shame, a few years earlier than he wanted. He is a good friend of mine, and one of the best teachers with whom I have ever worked. If it happened to him, it can happen to anyone. I promised myself that I would take this year a day at a time. I have a feeling that there will be times when I have to take this year a MINUTE at a time. I know I will somehow get through. It just saddens me that the final years of my career will be spent in such a broken public education system. It is broken, folks. Teachers are expected to be not just teachers but all of the following: nurses, doctors, social workers, parents, psychiatrists, nutritionists, the list goes on and on. Every day now for years, we walk into schools and wonder if we will have to put our lives on the line for students since there are so many random acts of violence perpetrated in school environments. Although I live in Massachusetts, I work in Connecticut. I remember when Sandy Hook happened, when so many innocent elementary school students lost their lives. Sandy Hook is a mere hour away from my school. I have met the one female teacher who saved ALL of her students that day by barricading them in a closet in her classroom. My school has had numerous lock-down scares—fortunately, none of them had a tragic end. Teachers don’t go into the profession because they think they will EVER make a fortune. I love my subject area and want my students to have a far better experience in high school than I had back in the late 1970s, early 1980s. I wanted to spend my career dong something for the betterment of humanity, not for my own benefit. Why did I post all this on the forum? How does it relate to our battle with Morgellons, Lyme, and other toxic diseases? It has everything to do with it. Our illnesses tend to make us far more in tune to our emotions. Even a few years ago, I would have sat in the auditorium, like a good girl, and allowed myself to absorb a massive dose of negativity. Instead, I refused to stay in that environment. I called upon my support system, and they were RIGHT THERE. That is the beauty of this forum: we are NEVER alone. When I got home, instead of fixating on the day, I took a three-hour nap. No job is worth my health. Next Monday, my students arrive. Fortunately, I only have one more day of professional development (i.e. massive waste of time!) and then have Wed-Fri off. Once my students arrive, I will quietly close my door and do what I do best: TEACH and LOVE MY STUDENTS. God knows my heart and soul, and for whatever reason, he wants me to work there another year. He will be with me every step of the way. Jamie | ||||||
| |||||||
2026 © All Rights Reserved.
